I think America’s views about getting older are pretty messed up. An obsession with living longer added to an obsession with being eternally young (in appearance, at least) isn’t a cohesive combination.
I’ve been exposed to both American and Ghanaian attitudes towards aging. I’ve seen women who can barely shape their lips into a smile adorn their 50-something bodies with clothes that look like they’ve been taken from a teenager’s closet. I’ve also seen my little wrinkled octogenarian Ghanaian grandmother singlehandedly get the dance floor started. It seems to me that while Americans attempt to defy age physically, Ghanaians try to do it with their attitude towards living life. I like the Ghanaian aging mentality more. But living in America, it’s hard to not be influenced by the messages I’m surrounded with.
Like other women, I’m constantly exposed to harsh noise that tells me I need to do certain things before I become a washed up old hag. The noise tries to dictate what I’m allowed to do and be at each age in my life. But as one of my friends would say: Fuck that noise.
I’ve come across a few women who may not be doing newsworthy things, but in their own small ways, have said that phrase with their actions. Women who’ve shown me that as long as you’re living and able-bodied, there is no age where true living has to stop and dreams and adventure are tossed aside…
» 30s
In Chiang Mai, Thailand, a strange series of events led me up to a bar where I spotted another solo female traveler. I asked if I could join her, and spent the rest of the night conversing with a kindred spirit. She had many tales of her adventures in South East Asia, venturing off the farang trail and into tiny villages that constantly challenged her views on the way things should be. She also shared stories of her life back home and told me that in order to travel to Asia, she’d walked away from a successful business she’d started. She said that people around her thought she was crazy and to this, she shrugged casually. Running the business wasn’t for her, and more than other people’s ideas of “success”, she was interested in her own well-being and happiness.
» 40s
When I was planning to go to Peru, I did what most budget travelers tell you not to and booked a two day Machu Picchu tour in advance. I didn’t know who I would be on the tour or if there’d be anyone on the tour at all. I lucked out with the one tour mate I had, a journalist from England who lived and worked in Dubai. After several hours on a train, I’d learned a great deal about her life and her experiences with traveling and living abroad. What struck me about her was that even though she’d seen so much, she was not at all jaded. She was obviously a strong and independent woman, yet she spoke with youthful enthusiasm about the possibilities of both her personal life and what she had left to see of the world. Age was a non-issue for her, and she’d found away to make it so that adventure was incorporated into her everyday life.
» 50s
I think my mom has now gotten used to my need to be on the move (even though she still hates the idea of me traveling solo). Whether or not she’d actually admit it, she is directly responsible for my wanderlust. Growing up, my family always actively enjoyed our free time with summer trips and day trips and road trips. And my mom always had a knack for finding humor in the blunders of travel. She still always point out that the most annoying things that happen on trips tend to be the most entertaining moments to look back at later. Now she is in her mid 50s, and life hasn’t gone as planned. But she has explored different opportunities and is making things happen. So at the moment, she is getting ready to retire early, taking classes in child development and applying for the Peace Corps.
» 60s
When I volunteered in Salvador, Brazil, in a sea of recent college and high school graduates, one of the most active volunteers was almost 60. She came up with great lesson ideas that others borrowed from. She had the best accessories when we went out at night and she was the biggest advocate for taking advantage of free time. She often rounded people up for day trips or Brazilian dance classes. After spending a good amount of time in Salvador, she volunteered in several other locations in Central America and Africa followed by Spanish language classes in both Spain and Mexico. Over the course of several years of travel, she’s maintained friendships with people she’s met along the way and brings the many travelers she’s met together. Being divorced for quite sometime, finding a special person to share her life with was always something she desired. She eventually decided to settle for a bit Northern California and has recently gotten engaged. While she has slowed down a lot since her days of volunteering, she continues to travel, go to school and sing in her future husband’s band.
