If you follow my blog regularly, you may have realized that I have a penchant for the journey aspect of travel — all the things you see and experience while moving from one point to another. The points might be what have attracted me to a place, but I love the discovery — self or cultural — that occurs in the process of getting there.

The internet is saturated with short travel videos that focus on the said points, many of them full of beautiful image after beautiful image, many of them in time lapse form. But when it comes to actual travel, how honest are these videos? So much of travel is the movement; the in betweens are often the meat of it.

One of the first things that struck me about this video was how much watching it felt like travel feels for me. Sometimes it’s sublime moments in beautiful famous places, but much of it is exploring a new place propelled by my own feet and the unique people you meet along the way and sometimes being crowded in a boat with other tourists who signed up for the same thing and adjusting to another country’s way of moving about and looking at the world through a dirty window and seeing it for what it is, but still finding beauty in it and in the process of moving.

And then the last stretch, that bittersweet, wistful, exalted arrival at home; not always choreographed to such gorgeous melodies in the background, but a gorgeous moment, nevertheless.

“For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.”
- Robert Louis Stevenson

©2012 Girl, Unstoppable. All Rights Reserved.

Water is often on my mind when I travel. I’m not talking about beaches and waterfalls and pretty lakes, but about water in the everyday practical sense. Essentially, water is always more of an issue abroad than it is when I am at home in San Francisco.

There’s the fact that in so many places around the world, you cannot drink water from the tap. In Ghana, if we want to drink tap water, we have to boil it and then put it through a water filter. On other trips, my reusable water bottle that I fill up with tap water when I’m at home has to be replaced by day after day of bottled water from corner stores.

The hostel I stay at in Oaxaca, a city that has issues with water shortages, limits the time hot water is available to two hours in the morning and two hours at night to curb water usage. In Bolivia, so many of the low budget places I stayed at claimed to have 24 hour hot water but often really only had a trickle of lukewarm water that quickly went cold. As I was there in the middle of their winter in some of the highest altitude destinations in the world, this meant that I often skipped the cold showers because it wasn’t worth it.

When I was recently in Namibia, I stayed at a homestay for a couple nights and there was no hot water coming from the taps and the shower head didn’t work. To take warm showers, we boiled hot water and combined it with cold water in bucket and used that to rinse off.

Even in Western Europe, where clean and heated water is widely available, water comes to mind because of the prevalence of dual flush toilets. It demonstrates that there is generally more thought put into the wastefulness of using fresh water to flush waste down the toilet than where I live.

More and more, when I come home, I think about how the way we consume water in the U.S. differs from many other places around the world. It’s a kind of availability and usage that is largely taken for granted. And this is the case even where I live, a state that’s at a constant risk for drought.

As I write this, I am drinking a glass of fresh water from the tap made even tastier and cleaner by putting it through a filter. I have to walk only a few steps to refill my glass. I take a warm shower daily with plenty of water pressure and without having to wait very long for the water to heat up.

But last Friday, for a short period of time, this was not the case. I had come home from work, relaxed a little bit, and wanted to take a quick shower before meeting up with a friend later in the evening. In the bathroom, I turned on the shower and moments later, the water stopped.

I tried the sink faucet and just a little water came out before it stopped as well. I was frustrated. But couldn’t continue to be irritated as I thought about how the problem was likely to be very temporary and the whole issue I was facing could be stamped with the hashtag, #firstworldproblems. If I was in another part of the world, I’d have given up on the idea of taking a shower a lot more quickly.

It wasn’t too long until the water partially came back on. And it kept running through my mind how in some places, even the quick shower I took could be seen as something frivolous, even with just the tiny stream of water that was coming out. How crazy is it that on a global scale, something as fundamental as access to clean water can be considered a luxury?

This is the thing about travel, if you allow yourself to travel to certain places in a certain way, you will often be confronted with your position of privilege, even if you think you are doing things on the cheap. Perhaps especially if you are doing things cheaply. And it can make returning to your first world home more uncomfortable when things that once seemed commonplace now challenge you to acknowledge your prior ignorant bliss.

Maybe that’s reason enough for some people to avoid travel, but personally, I feel that I should take the opportunity to see the reality of the world when it presents itself. I want what I see to make me hold myself more accountable. I want it to push me to make changes in whatever little ways I can. And I know that the different realities of the world are always there, whether or not they’re right in front of me.

©2012 Girl, Unstoppable. All Rights Reserved.

Oaxaca de Juarez wanes slowly as you leave overland. Centro is the core and the ideal. It’s not always the reality of the city, but it encapsulates the essence of it. When you enter the city beyond and the outskirts, the bright colonial houses of Centro fade into buildings that cosmetically tend to be more functional than fancy.

Spaces begin grow wider as you approach the countryside. On the road to Mexico City, beyond Oaxaca city’s reach are crop-covered rolling hills, brilliantly green against the gray wet summer sky that feeds them.

At some point, we reach a mythical looking place where long columns of cacti rise from the mountains. Interspersed with desert brush plants, they jut out of the steep slopes from the bases of the mountains to the summits. I love these kind of travel moments when unplanned, you encounter something so uniquely beautiful.

We arrive in Mexico City in the thick of the rush hour traffic. After procuring an authorized taxi ride, there is more traffic, as well as the driver getting lost on the tricky one way streets that lead to my destination.

I’ve had great experiences staying in hostels in Mexico City’s Centro and Coyoacan neighborhoods, but want to try out a different area this time. I’ve found a hostel in Colonia Roma and I’ve made a reservation through their website.

As a backpacker with flashpacker tendencies, something I enjoy about Mexico are the excellent hostels for a great value. Unfortunately, I quickly find out that for about the same price as the good places, Hostel 333 does not fit into that category. When I arrive, they tell me the bed in the room I’d reserved and received confirmation for is not available.

All they have available for the first night is a creaky top bunk in a too-small six bed dorm room. They’ve had the audacity to make it a seven person room by letting someone sleep on a foldable mattress on the floor which takes up any bit of extra space in the room and partially blocks the doorway. It’s so packed that I’m not sure how someone could clean it, even if they wanted to. The room is full of people who’ve been there for awhile and have clearly become accustomed to living in their own filth of used dishes and dirty underwear. Essentially, it’s the kind of hostel that gives hosteling a bad name. I thought I’d learned how to avoid places like this, but I guess I can’t win ‘em all.

Fortunately, I’ve got no time to wallow in irritation and I have a great way to temporarily get out of the room. I have plans and I’m late. I’m meeting a friend I made in Oaxaca in summer 2010 whose affinity for Mexico has also brought her back to the country. This time, she is with a class from her school in Oregon, a small awesome group of women who are in the midst of studying Mexican muralism and creating their own mural at a Mexico City university.

I go just a couple blocks over to meet them at the Pulqueria Insurgentes. Since I’m at a pulqueria, I must try pulque, yet another fermented beverage derived from agave. I go for the passion fruit flavor and it’s brought to me in a silver mug. At the first sip, I’m put off by the unexpectedly slimy texture. Once I’m past that, the drink has a certain wholesomey rustic charm to it. And with a plate of tasty tacos in front of me and good company around me, all is well in Mexico City. Terrible hostel rooms are temporary, but Mexico City’s magic is boundless.

©2012 Girl, Unstoppable. All Rights Reserved.

In the vast and varied country of the United States, fellow residents tend to misunderstand each other as much as they have a tendency to misunderstand the world beyond. It’s disconcerting to see how many people form concrete opinions of other places based on very little knowledge of and experience in those places.

I discovered my own habit of doing this during my travels to the South. I’ve had enlightening experiences there where found that I liked that part of the country more than I imagined I would. I realized that my negative opinions on it were based on stereotypes, politics, and history rather than personal experiences with the current people and places.

Recently, I’ve also eased up on Los Angeles. In California, there is a little tiff between SoCal and NorCal, and more specifically between Los Angeles and San Francisco. It’s a microcosm of larger issues in the country and in the world and while it’s not detrimental, it can be petty and counterproductive.

While there are still stereotypical and true characteristics of Los Angeles that I don’t like, I’ve found many other things to appreciate about it. I’ve accepted the city for what it is and opened myself up to discovering its more awesome aspects, and that has been a good thing.

Here’s a collection of things that have made me happy on my recent visits to Los Angeles:

» Warm Weather

I love San Francisco, but its weather is not the jam. It has its hotter times, but it tends to hover around highs of 60 degrees Fahrenheit year round, give or take about 10 degrees. I actually prefer to be in warmer climates and I’m not a fan of bundling up. LA is more capable of making these partialities feasible. When I go there, I can pack light and give myself a break from restrictive outerwear.

» The Diverse Array of Cultures

Los Angeles goes far beyond the typical subsections of American cities. There is Koreatown, Thai Town, Little Ethiopia, a sizable population of Hasidic Jews, and areas that make me feel like I’m in Mexico. As a fan of traveling, I really appreciate this cultural mix up all in one location.

» Food

The awesome weather combined with people from all over the world make for an excellent food culture in Los Angeles. There are year round farmers markets everywhere and an abundance of international restaurants and food trucks. There is often an emphasis on food that’s produced locally with respect for the environment and the people who will consume it.

» The Laid Back Atmosphere

Something I noticed on a trip to LA last year is that people there give off an air of being on vacation in their own town. I really enjoy the very city-like energy and feel of San Francisco, but I appreciate the more relaxed nature of LA as well. It’s a nice break from my typical surroundings.

» Hiking to the Hollywood Sign at Sunset

This was the highlight of my most recent trip to Los Angeles. The day after Thanksgiving, we got off to a late start on this hike, but it turned out to be great timing. The lighting was gorgeous on the way up, and when we reached the top, we had a 360 degree view of the Los Angeles and beyond, all aglow in sunset light.

» LACMA

Last summer, I had an afternoon to myself where I happened to be within walking distance of the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) and it happened to be a free entrance day. I decided to take advantage of that. LACMA is impressive before you even walk in; there is a wonderful light sculpture at the entrance. Once you’re inside, there is an amazing collection of art from around the world. The exhibits are presented in a way that really enhances the art and gives you a sense of the periods and places they come from. The curation at LACMA is artistic excellence in itself.

» Day Trips to Santa Monica

Santa Monica is such an interesting place. With the beach, the boardwalk, the Third Street Promenade, and surf city atmosphere, it’s the California of a lot of people’s dreams. But there is also a very apparent desperate and gritty side to it. These aspects combined make for a truthful dose of Americana.

» Secondhand Shopping

When I’ve gone secondhand shopping in LA, I’ve found some good stuff, I think partly because styles change so quickly and people often get rid of barely worn items. If you’re not caught up in following trends closely, there is good stuff to be found. Beyond the shops, last summer I came across the Melrose Trading Post, a hipstery weekly flea market that has all kinds of little treasures that reflect many different periods of LA. I saw wacky furniture, vintage travel and movie posters, tons of antique knickknacks, and some great jewelry.

» Strange and Passionate People

Venice Beach has its fair share of the LA counterculture, but there are a lot of unique individuals throughout the city. It’s a city that attracts people from all over the country, a lot of them with personalities that were probably too large for Small Town, USA. While there are a lot of people in Los Angeles chasing vacuous and vague dreams of stardom, there are plenty more who may still be enticed by stardom, but have a true love and passion for their art. Los Angeles and San Francisco seem to be equally full of people who are endearingly odd and steadfast about expressing themselves.

©2012 Girl, Unstoppable. All Rights Reserved.

When I look back at the time I spent volunteering in Salvador da Bahia, Brazil in 2006, it seems so natural, so inevitable that I would end up in there at some point in my life. I often forget about what drew me to it in the first place: Banda Didá, an all female drumming ensemble that is based there. Before learning about that group, I hadn’t even heard of Salvador, an Afro-Brazilian city in the northeastern part of the country.

Music as it pertains to social movements or social justice has always been a topic of interest for me. When I came across a documentary called Girl Beat: Power of the Drum, I was automatically drawn by the synopsis. It highlighted the Banda Didá organization and the work it did to empower females of African descent in Salvador.

Banda Didá was powerful. I couldn’t believe this group of women whose hands and arms pounded out the rage of the remnants of European enslavement to the beats of West Africa. At the same time, their bodies moved fluidly and rhythmically and their faces beamed with pride in their heritage.

The documentary revealed another world, one that I had not yet been privy to, but in which I felt I likely belonged: Afro-Latin culture. In mainstream grade school education in the United States, the fact that Africans were enslaved in many other parts of the Americas is often ignored. The vivacious modern cultures of Latin America and the African influence on many of them is often overlooked. At that point in my life, I was vaguely aware of Afro-Latin America, but that was the first time I’d seen it so tangibly.

As the daughter of immigrants from a small West African country, I’d grown up on the periphery of belonging. I’d accepted that position at that point. But Salvador da Bahia seemed like a place where the distinct mix of cultures that went into my creation was very much the norm in a very visible way. And sure enough, it was.

There’s a bit of drumming at the beginning of this, but skip to 1:00 for the good stuff. Those drums are heavy, and these women make dancing with one attached to your hips look easy.

I saw Banda Didá for the first time in person just a few days after I arrived in Brazil. Every Tuesday night from August until Carnival, they have a big party in Pelourinho, Salvador’s historic center. They call it a “rehearsal” for Carnival and it’s an insanely fun night of government sanctioned partying. There are concerts, street food and drinks, and baterias (drumming ensembles) marching down the cobblestone streets.

A drum circle with an intrinsic sense of spirit and all kinds of soul.

©2012 Girl, Unstoppable. All Rights Reserved.

I tried to play it cool at the beginning of my first big solo trip, but I was pretty nervous about the whole thing.  While I value my alone time, I can also be a very social person. Going into that trip, I was worried that I wouldn’t meet anyone that I would click with and that I could have a lonely month ahead of me. Once I arrived, however, it wasn’t long until I found myself meeting all kinds of new people and forgetting all about how fearful I was at the beginning of it.

A few months ago, I wrote a post entitled 7 Reasons to Work Up the Nerve to Travel Solo. One of the reasons I offered was “To meet people you would never otherwise meet,” one of the aspects of solo travel I enjoy the most. To me, making great connections when I go abroad on my own now seems like a given, but I definitely remember what it felt like to be unaware of the possibilities you can open yourself up to when you travel solo.

In a series that aims to give people the courage to try solo travel, ideas on ways to ensure that you make friends along the way seemed like the best fit for the second post. Here are my suggestions for making your solo trip a very social trip:

» Stay in hostels.

You are undoubtedly going to meet more people if you stay in communal accommodations. When you’re by yourself, hostels provide you with several other people who are doing the same thing and a set up that makes it easier to connect with those people. I prefer smaller hostels rather than larger ones because the atmosphere tends to be more homey and community oriented. You’re likely to meet more people in hostel if you stay in a large room with a lot of bunks, but if you’re not interested in that, quite a few have smaller and single rooms available if you book in advance.

» Travel slowly.

Flitting about from place to place is sometimes necessary, but meeting new people is much easier if you stay in one place for as long as you can. The longer you stay, the more likely locals and expats will want to invest their time in getting to know you because they’ll see that you’re not just passing through. When you establish yourself at wherever you’re sleeping, you’ll begin to feel comfortable and that will lead to easy conversation with other people who are staying there. Traveling slowly also allows for time to do things like taking classes or working on an organic farm which will further enable you to meet new people.

» Become a regular.

When I stay in one city or town for five days or more, I find a spot I like (usually a cafe) and go there regularly. This is a great way to connect with the staff and also to meet locals who stop by daily. I find that eventually (if not immediately), they’ll be curious about you and strike up a conversation with you.

» Network online before you go.

I’ve made some great real life connections through travel blogging. If you read someone’s blog and enjoy it, chances are that the person will make a good tour guide or show you to really cool spots if you end up in their town. Of course, when it comes to meeting up with bloggers, it’s really helpful if you have your own online presence so that the other person feels comfortable with meeting up with you.

And of course, there’s Couchsurfing. I’ve never been active on it, but I know a lot of frequent solo travelers live by it and regularly use it to stay with and/or meet people wherever they go.

» Be open and bold.

There are often times when the people I deem to be unlikely friends at first glance turn out to be some of the most fascinating individuals once I get to know them. So even if there’s a big age gap, cultural difference or other seemingly huge difference, try breaking out of the boundaries that you inadvertently set for yourself at home. The more open you are, the better your chances will be of meeting people you really connect with.

People may approach you, especially if you’re smiling and look happy to be wherever you are, but sometimes you have to begin the conversation. With fellow travelers, the classic coversation starter is, “Where are you from?” It’s super generic, but it gets a conversation going, especially because über-travelers love to chat about places.

» Join a short tour.

Joining up with a tour group for a day or a week is a good way to make insta-friends and take a break from making your own arrangements. Tours often get a bad rap because of those gigantic ones that cart you around constantly and never give you enough time to really experience a location. They’re not all like that; there are plenty of them that arrange your transport and accommodations while leaving you free to do what you wish during the day. There are a lot of places that are really easy to travel independently where I wouldn’t bother with a tour, but I think tours make sense for some destinations and certain experiences are difficult or impossible to do without one (example: exploring the Amazon Basin in Bolivia). Tours can be hit or miss, but if you’re lucky enough to end up with the right tour group, it can be an extremely rewarding feat.

» Keep in touch.

Add new friends you meet on the road on Facebook or exchange e-mail addresses. Even if you part ways with new travel friends, you have a greater chance of linking up with them again in another city later on your trip if you have a way to contact them. Also, you can end up with great contacts all over the world who you can meet up with on your next solo trip. Maintaining friendships with fellow wanderlusters I’ve met abroad has been one of the most rewarding aspects of travel for me.

» Be patient.

It can take time to gain the confidence required to meet people on the road. Even with following all these tips, you may find yourself hiding out in your room, wondering why you decided to go on your trip alone. But it gets easier with time and soon enough, you’ll find that starting conversations with strangers has become easier and making lifelong friendships with people you didn’t know the previous week feels natural. You will be intrigued by the possibilities.

July 2009 - Making new Aussie friends on my first night in Cusco, Peru, not long after I decided to stop hiding in my hostel room and put myself out there.

©2012 Girl, Unstoppable. All Rights Reserved.

Earlier this week, I was flipping through the San Francisco Chronicle on my lunch break when an obituary caught my eye. Why am I talking about death in the week when I’m celebrating my birth? Well, hear me out.

This woman who’d died exactly a week after her 95th birthday was described as a “lifelong progressive, feminist and world traveler” — she sounded like a person I could’ve been friends with and a person who’d lived her life with purpose. Intrigued, I continued reading.

The obituary went on to say that after 40 years of homemaking and after her husband passed away, she started to fulfill her lifelong dream to travel the world. “At age 72, she she began a series of adventures around the globe, visiting 17 European countries, Mexico, South Africa, New Zealand, Argentina and both poles, and nearly two dozen states in 19 years.”

While I personally take a “travel while you’re young” approach, I love to hear about and know women who are a testament to the fact that age doesn’t have to prevent you from doing what you want to do.

My own mother is one of those women. At the age of 56, she has very recently begun a Peace Corps assignment in Namibia. A few people I talked to about it assumed that the Peace Corps was only for straight out of college young people. It’s not. To me, in a time when people haphazardly sign up to volunteer abroad, she is an ideal candidate — someone who had a Peace Corps teacher as a child, someone who grew up in an African country, and most importantly, someone who has lived.

A couple days ago, I entered the last year of my twenties. Amongst females I know who are around the same age, there seems to be a bit of a divide between those who’ve hit the 30 mark and those for whom it is rapidly approaching. Those who’ve reached 30 and beyond have told me they’ve realized it’s not as bad as they feared it would be and in a few cases, it turned out to be exactly the transition that they needed. With a few exceptions, the women I know who are under 30 are fearful about entering their next decade.

It’s such a big part of female culture in the United States to look at age beyond the 20s as just an ending rather than a transition that contains both endings and beginnings. And those beginnings and endings can be both good and bad. Sure, as we age, unwelcome changes begin to happen to our appearances. But also with living, truly living, you can acquire the perspective and self assurance that is required to feel good about yourself despite what you think others think about you.

And that is a major gift of living fully and getting older — the increased ability to know yourself and grow into yourself and love yourself as you are. This gift is available to everyone, but not everyone receives it. In order to receive it, you have to be open to it, be aware of it, want it, take the initiative to find it.

I’d like to end this post with a video I came across the other day about some fearlessly fashionable older women in New York who display their personalities and creativity through their outfits:

“Young women, you’re going to be an old woman some day. Don’t worry about it. Don’t sweat it. Don’t worry about getting older. Every era… it builds character.”

©2012 Girl, Unstoppable. All Rights Reserved.

I feel like I let people down with my summer travel plans.

Everyone: “I know you’re going somewhere exciting this summer! Where are you off to?”

Me: “I’m going to Mexico!”

Almost Everyone: Confused pause. “Again?”

It’s the country next door. I went there last summer. It doesn’t seem exotic enough to people here in California. I guess as the crazy travel girl who goes there so you don’t have to, my choice to revisit Mexico may seem like I’m throwing a wet blanket last year’s travel thrills like Cuba and India.

Okay, so there’s more when it comes to my summer travel plans. More on that later. Right now, Mexico.

I can’t wait to explore the jungley watery state of Chiapas, reunite with quite a few of the the great people I met last summer, sit on a plastic stool in the middle of the street in Oaxaca and eat an Oaxaca-style empanada, stand on the sidewalk in Mexico City and eat a taco, for rain that’s not cold, for the wonderful skies, for the cacti, for the colorful traditions, for the colorful buildings.

I didn’t get enough last summer. I’m curious to see if its possible to get enough.

©2012 Girl, Unstoppable. All Rights Reserved.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been fielding a lot of questions about my potential summer travel plans. Many of these discussions end with an incredulous look in my direction and comment about my ability to travel solo. I get a lot of, “I can’t believe you just go on your own!” or, “I could never travel solo!”

What amazes me is how much most people I’ve talked with do want to travel but don’t. Aside from the average American job’s lack of vacation time or choices about where to spend money, one of the biggest travel deterrents seems to be not having anyone to go with.

This may sound weird, but it pains me a little when people let something like that prevent them from doing the things they want to do. So I decided to write a solo travel for beginners series, starting off with seven reasons why it’s worth it to take a solo trip:

» To connect with places more deeply and foster your creativity

When I travel with people I know, I value the ability to interact with them in a different setting and the closer relationships that can come with that. At other times, I want to feel my way through a place. When I am alone in the middle of somewhere new, I’m much more able to tune into the nuances of a culture or the scenery. Solo travel’s built in need to sense and observe feeds my creativity.

» To meet people you would never otherwise meet

This seems like a given, but most people I come across who are unfamiliar with traveling solo often assume it means that you will constantly be alone. If I look back to my first solo trip, this was a fear of mine as well. But it turns out that that fear was unfounded. On the road, I mostly befriend 20- and 30- somethings with similar views on life and travel, but I’ve also made friends with local people, people significantly older or younger, and a few eccentric people. Solo travel has enabled me to make life enhancing connections with the people who everyday life probably wouldn’t have led me to connect with. When you’re away from home alone, you’re more likely to do away with the ridiculous criteria for friendship that you often inadvertently establish at home.

» To experience life at high speed

Life seems to move faster when you’re traveling solo. The surface-skirting small talk portion of friendship is usually bypassed and you might find yourself in deep discussions with people you’ve met just hours before. When you’re alone in a strange place, things that are everyday experiences for the people who live there might send you back to feeling like a child when everything seemed so new and exciting. You have to start from scratch in so many ways and in a very short period of time, adjust to unfamiliar people and places. For me, somehow this sped up life seems to stick, and things that happened in just a few days on the road can be as a significant part of my life as things that happened over the course of much more time at home.

» To challenge yourself

When I visited India, I was terrified every time I set foot in a train station or bus terminal. In fact, on every trip I’ve ever been on, I have unreasonable fears about not being able to catch the right bus or train at the right time. Airports are set up to be internationally understandable, but local transport is often a lot more esoteric. So when I take the bus or the train, I typically wish I had a travel partner to alleviate my worries. But there’s something about successfully getting from place to place on my own that thrills me. On trips where I have quite a bit of stops to make, when I get to my last destination, I want to shout, “I did it!” For me, transportation is often my biggest challenge, but there are plenty of other challenges to tackle on a solo trip like cultural immersion or simply learning to sit comfortably with your own thoughts.

» To have the freedom to experience your obscure interests

Are you an American who’s down to go to Cuba? Are you more inclined to discover gritty alleys full of street art than check out established museums? Are you anthropologically driven to explore cultures in remote parts of the world? Sometimes you’re pumped up about something that doesn’t appeal to everyone. Sometimes it’s more fun to take just your enthusiasm and to explore your interest on your own and find people who have similar interests once you get there.

» To choose your travel style and maintain your friendships

When I travel, I typically stay in basic hotels or hostels, eat street food, and take ground transportation as much as possible. While I have my moments of wanting to be more in a traditional vacation mode, this is largely the style of travel I want to stick to for now. Whenever people say to me, “I want to travel with you sometime!” I run this by them. While some people I know could absolutely hang with a budget travel style, I know a lot more people who are not willing to share accommodations with strangers, are squeamish and picky about food, want to fly everywhere, and don’t want to travel for more than a week or two at a time. I’ve seen others jeopardize relationships over vastly different travel styles (as in siblings who drove each other crazy, friends not talking for awhile after returning from a trip, etc.) and I don’t want to go there. Sometimes it’s better to go solo than travel with someone whose style has the potential to be incompatible.

» Because life is too short to wait until everything is “right”

If you’ve been thinking about going somewhere for awhile and the right travel partner with the right schedule hasn’t come along to join you, you might as well just go. If you’re able bodied, a travel partner is not a requirement for traveling the world. In the end, you’ll find that it’s easier to go for it and take the trip rather than to live with the regret of letting the opportunity pass you by.

©2012 Girl, Unstoppable. All Rights Reserved.

“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.”
– Martin Buber

A four day wedding and a little journey across northern India, that’s all. That’s what I thought before I left.

I knew challenges might accompany me on that journey, but those were largely my thoughts as I embarked on that trip. You might say that they were the underthoughts of the year.

But what does it mean to say that an upcoming trip might be challenging, anyway? You can expect challenges and know they’re coming. You can read blog entries and advice and prepare for the challenges. But you’ll never know exactly what challenges will materialize and how you’ll feel when they materialize until you arrive.

For the most part, I put myself in a position to experience India on a basic level. Because of this, and even more so because I was a solo female traveler, there was no filtering anything. India laid it all out for me — filthy accommodations, excessive staring, frustrating gender dynamics, and close-minded ideas about skin color. Once I arrived, the idea of a comfort zone became this elusive thing; something that couldn’t necessarily be reestablished by holing up in a hotel room.

Of course there were the highlights like the trip’s impetus — the vibrant and elaborate four day wedding I attended in Kolkata. After attending that wedding, it’s pretty clear that as far as traditions, decoration, and attire go, an Indian wedding can only be topped by an Indian wedding. I’m now a believer in multiple day weddings. After one day you’re just getting started, but after a few, it feels like a complete well-rounded event.

And there were the beautiful sites like the Amber Fort in Jaipur, the Taj Mahal, and the Jama Masjid that left me in awe of creativity and craftsmanship. There were a few surprises like the Jantar Mantar and the Victoria Memorial. There were the everyday views of cities captured in the early morning or from cars or rickshaws.

A wedding and sightseeing were the things I went to do and see. But of course, my trip had other destinations waiting for me. Most of these unexpected sights were internal.

I’m a strong traveler. I go solo. I go budget. I go almost anywhere. But India had a way of stripping me of this sturdy identity and leaving me feeling incredibly vulnerable. “So you think you’re tough?” it asked me with its daily frustrations and the way it disoriented me by hyper-engaging all of my senses simultaneously.

I was in India for a short time and it wasn’t long enough to reach a point of reconciliation. But it did come eventually.

“I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate.”
– Vincent van Gogh

It was after traveling to India that I knew with absolute certainty that cultural exploration is for me. It just feels right. If you’ve ready my About the Author section, you might argue that I’ve known that for awhile. But no place I’ve previously visited has tested me quite like India. And still my wanderlust is untainted, maybe even enhanced. It goes back to the sleepy, “even when I hate this, I love this,” rumination on my flight to India. It also goes back to other travelers’ sentiments that, “If you can travel in India, you can travel anywhere.” I feel even more ready for the world after visiting India.

Destinations can be like people whose friendship is questionable. They might stab you repeatedly in the front and in the back. But over time, you appreciate their presence in your life.

They’ve driven you crazy and tricked you; they’ve challenged you and poked and prodded your seemingly fragile core. But in the end, because of them, you can gleefully, powerfully, and irrevocably say, “Yes, I do have mountains of inner strength.”

If the countries I’ve visited were people, India would undoubtedly be my foe. And yet I am still damn glad to have met her.

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