solo travel

How to Meet People When You’re Traveling Solo

by Ekua on October 10, 2011 · 2 comments in d.i.y. travel,listastic,solo travel

I tried to play it cool at the beginning of my first big solo trip, but I was pretty nervous about the whole thing.  While I value my alone time, I can also be a very social person. Going into that trip, I was worried that I wouldn’t meet anyone that I would click with and that I could have a lonely month ahead of me. Once I arrived, however, it wasn’t long until I found myself meeting all kinds of new people and forgetting all about how fearful I was at the beginning of it.

A few months ago, I wrote a post entitled 7 Reasons to Work Up the Nerve to Travel Solo. One of the reasons I offered was “To meet people you would never otherwise meet,” one of the aspects of solo travel I enjoy the most. To me, making great connections when I go abroad on my own now seems like a given, but I definitely remember what it felt like to be unaware of the possibilities you can open yourself up to when you travel solo.

In a series that aims to give people the courage to try solo travel, ideas on ways to ensure that you make friends along the way seemed like the best fit for the second post. Here are my suggestions for making your solo trip a very social trip:

» Stay in hostels.

You are undoubtedly going to meet more people if you stay in communal accommodations. When you’re by yourself, hostels provide you with several other people who are doing the same thing and a set up that makes it easier to connect with those people. I prefer smaller hostels rather than larger ones because the atmosphere tends to be more homey and community oriented. You’re likely to meet more people in hostel if you stay in a large room with a lot of bunks, but if you’re not interested in that, quite a few have smaller and single rooms available if you book in advance.

» Travel slowly.

Flitting about from place to place is sometimes necessary, but meeting new people is much easier if you stay in one place for as long as you can. The longer you stay, the more likely locals and expats will want to invest their time in getting to know you because they’ll see that you’re not just passing through. When you establish yourself at wherever you’re sleeping, you’ll begin to feel comfortable and that will lead to easy conversation with other people who are staying there. Traveling slowly also allows for time to do things like taking classes or working on an organic farm which will further enable you to meet new people.

» Become a regular.

When I stay in one city or town for five days or more, I find a spot I like (usually a cafe) and go there regularly. This is a great way to connect with the staff and also to meet locals who stop by daily. I find that eventually (if not immediately), they’ll be curious about you and strike up a conversation with you.

» Network online before you go.

I’ve made some great real life connections through travel blogging. If you read someone’s blog and enjoy it, chances are that the person will make a good tour guide or show you to really cool spots if you end up in their town. Of course, when it comes to meeting up with bloggers, it’s really helpful if you have your own online presence so that the other person feels comfortable with meeting up with you.

And of course, there’s Couchsurfing. I’ve never been active on it, but I know a lot of frequent solo travelers live by it and regularly use it to stay with and/or meet people wherever they go.

» Be open and bold.

There are often times when the people I deem to be unlikely friends at first glance turn out to be some of the most fascinating individuals once I get to know them. So even if there’s a big age gap, cultural difference or other seemingly huge difference, try breaking out of the boundaries that you inadvertently set for yourself at home. The more open you are, the better your chances will be of meeting people you really connect with.

People may approach you, especially if you’re smiling and look happy to be wherever you are, but sometimes you have to begin the conversation. With fellow travelers, the classic coversation starter is, “Where are you from?” It’s super generic, but it gets a conversation going, especially because über-travelers love to chat about places.

» Join a short tour.

Joining up with a tour group for a day or a week is a good way to make insta-friends and take a break from making your own arrangements. Tours often get a bad rap because of those gigantic ones that cart you around constantly and never give you enough time to really experience a location. They’re not all like that; there are plenty of them that arrange your transport and accommodations while leaving you free to do what you wish during the day. There are a lot of places that are really easy to travel independently where I wouldn’t bother with a tour, but I think tours make sense for some destinations and certain experiences are difficult or impossible to do without one (example: exploring the Amazon Basin in Bolivia). Tours can be hit or miss, but if you’re lucky enough to end up with the right tour group, it can be an extremely rewarding feat.

» Keep in touch.

Add new friends you meet on the road on Facebook or exchange e-mail addresses. Even if you part ways with new travel friends, you have a greater chance of linking up with them again in another city later on your trip if you have a way to contact them. Also, you can end up with great contacts all over the world who you can meet up with on your next solo trip. Maintaining friendships with fellow wanderlusters I’ve met abroad has been one of the most rewarding aspects of travel for me.

» Be patient.

It can take time to gain the confidence required to meet people on the road. Even with following all these tips, you may find yourself hiding out in your room, wondering why you decided to go on your trip alone. But it gets easier with time and soon enough, you’ll find that starting conversations with strangers has become easier and making lifelong friendships with people you didn’t know the previous week feels natural. You will be intrigued by the possibilities.

July 2009 - Making new Aussie friends on my first night in Cusco, Peru, not long after I decided to stop hiding in my hostel room and put myself out there.

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7 Reasons to Work Up the Nerve to Travel Solo

by Ekua on May 29, 2011 · 23 comments in d.i.y. travel,listastic,solo travel

For the last few weeks, I’ve been fielding a lot of questions about my potential summer travel plans. Many of these discussions end with an incredulous look in my direction and comment about my ability to travel solo. I get a lot of, “I can’t believe you just go on your own!” or, “I could never travel solo!”

What amazes me is how much most people I’ve talked with do want to travel but don’t. Aside from the average American job’s lack of vacation time or choices about where to spend money, one of the biggest travel deterrents seems to be not having anyone to go with.

This may sound weird, but it pains me a little when people let something like that prevent them from doing the things they want to do. So I decided to write a solo travel for beginners series, starting off with seven reasons why it’s worth it to take a solo trip:

» To connect with places more deeply and foster your creativity

When I travel with people I know, I value the ability to interact with them in a different setting and the closer relationships that can come with that. At other times, I want to feel my way through a place. When I am alone in the middle of somewhere new, I’m much more able to tune into the nuances of a culture or the scenery. Solo travel’s built in need to sense and observe feeds my creativity.

» To meet people you would never otherwise meet

This seems like a given, but most people I come across who are unfamiliar with traveling solo often assume it means that you will constantly be alone. If I look back to my first solo trip, this was a fear of mine as well. But it turns out that that fear was unfounded. On the road, I mostly befriend 20- and 30- somethings with similar views on life and travel, but I’ve also made friends with local people, people significantly older or younger, and a few eccentric people. Solo travel has enabled me to make life enhancing connections with the people who everyday life probably wouldn’t have led me to connect with. When you’re away from home alone, you’re more likely to do away with the ridiculous criteria for friendship that you often inadvertently establish at home.

» To experience life at high speed

Life seems to move faster when you’re traveling solo. The surface-skirting small talk portion of friendship is usually bypassed and you might find yourself in deep discussions with people you’ve met just hours before. When you’re alone in a strange place, things that are everyday experiences for the people who live there might send you back to feeling like a child when everything seemed so new and exciting. You have to start from scratch in so many ways and in a very short period of time, adjust to unfamiliar people and places. For me, somehow this sped up life seems to stick, and things that happened in just a few days on the road can be as a significant part of my life as things that happened over the course of much more time at home.

» To challenge yourself

When I visited India, I was terrified every time I set foot in a train station or bus terminal. In fact, on every trip I’ve ever been on, I have unreasonable fears about not being able to catch the right bus or train at the right time. Airports are set up to be internationally understandable, but local transport is often a lot more esoteric. So when I take the bus or the train, I typically wish I had a travel partner to alleviate my worries. But there’s something about successfully getting from place to place on my own that thrills me. On trips where I have quite a bit of stops to make, when I get to my last destination, I want to shout, “I did it!” For me, transportation is often my biggest challenge, but there are plenty of other challenges to tackle on a solo trip like cultural immersion or simply learning to sit comfortably with your own thoughts.

» To have the freedom to experience your obscure interests

Are you an American who’s down to go to Cuba? Are you more inclined to discover gritty alleys full of street art than check out established museums? Are you anthropologically driven to explore cultures in remote parts of the world? Sometimes you’re pumped up about something that doesn’t appeal to everyone. Sometimes it’s more fun to take just your enthusiasm and to explore your interest on your own and find people who have similar interests once you get there.

» To choose your travel style and maintain your friendships

When I travel, I typically stay in basic hotels or hostels, eat street food, and take ground transportation as much as possible. While I have my moments of wanting to be more in a traditional vacation mode, this is largely the style of travel I want to stick to for now. Whenever people say to me, “I want to travel with you sometime!” I run this by them. While some people I know could absolutely hang with a budget travel style, I know a lot more people who are not willing to share accommodations with strangers, are squeamish and picky about food, want to fly everywhere, and don’t want to travel for more than a week or two at a time. I’ve seen others jeopardize relationships over vastly different travel styles (as in siblings who drove each other crazy, friends not talking for awhile after returning from a trip, etc.) and I don’t want to go there. Sometimes it’s better to go solo than travel with someone whose style has the potential to be incompatible.

» Because life is too short to wait until everything is “right”

If you’ve been thinking about going somewhere for awhile and the right travel partner with the right schedule hasn’t come along to join you, you might as well just go. If you’re able bodied, a travel partner is not a requirement for traveling the world. In the end, you’ll find that it’s easier to go for it and take the trip rather than to live with the regret of letting the opportunity pass you by.

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7 Songs to Empower You for a Solo Road Trip

by Ekua on January 8, 2011 · 7 comments in solo travel,songs for the road

One of my most awesome travel experiences in 2010 was an impromptu five day solo exploration of the Eastern Sierras at the end of the summer. If you have never taken a solo road trip, I highly recommend it. It’s an exhilarating expression of freedom and you can connect much more with your surroundings when you’re not tempted to chat. And of course, you can sing loudly to whatever music you like.

Like with 7 Songs by Women to Empower You for Your Journey, I perused my music collection to come up with a playlist of more unlikely travel song suggestions for a solo road trip. I wanted to steer clear of the obvious, so no Free Bird or Born to be Wild on this list. I’ve come up with seven songs about yearning, busting out, movement, and coming home to inspire you and to sing along with:

» Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World (covered and reworked) by Israel Kamakawiwoʻole

Play this song when: You’re longing to take a road trip.

» Turn and Run by Alice Russell

Play this when: You’ve broken free and you’re leaving town.

» Gone Wanderin’ by Jackie Greene

Play this song when: You’re settling into the road.

» Feeling Good by Nina Simone

Play this song when: You’re absorbed in your beautiful natural surroundings.

» Everybody Ona Move by Michael Franti

Play this song when: You want a song to groove in your seat to; when you like your bass “loudy, loudy, louda..”

» This Land is Your Land (covered and reworked) by Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings

Play this song when: You’re seeing or experiencing a less than ideal reality of wherever you are.

» When the Night Feels My Song by Bedouin Soundclash

Play this song when: You’re on your way home.

What are your favorite road trip tunes? Feel free to suggest a song!

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Songs for the Road No. 7: Inspiration for Solo Travel

by Ekua on October 17, 2010 · 6 comments in female travel,solo travel,songs for the road

Traveling solo now feels normal to me, but there are those rare occasions when loneliness consumes me on the road. The day I arrived in Oaxaca which I wrote about in my previous entry is one example. I sometimes fight the solitude rather than reveling in it and understanding that it’s only temporary. Sometimes I forget about all the people I’ll meet and the observations I am able to make because of the openness and quietness being alone provides.

My friend shared this video with me yesterday about learning how to be alone and making the best of solitude. It mostly refers to one’s regular environment, but it can all apply to traveling solo as well. If I’d had this video when I arrived in Oaxaca, it would’ve been the perfect antidote to the way I felt then. Of course, time and a change of attitude had the same effect. But I’m sure it won’t be last time I feel that way on a trip, looking back at the comfort and fun times of a group rather than looking forward to possibilities that await. When those times come, hopefully I’ll remember some of the words in this video, especially the most simple ones at the beginning of it, “be patient.”

Maybe this poem doesn’t really qualify as a song, but it’s close enough and it’s a beautiful little video:

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Wanderful Words No. 22: A Map for Saturday

by Ekua on May 11, 2010 · 4 comments in backpacking,movies with movement,solo travel,wanderful words

Turistas. Hostel. The Beach. These are all examples of Hollywood’s poor representations of traveling with a budget and a backpack. So it was refreshing to finally watch A Map for Saturday, a documentary by Brook Silva-Braga that takes a realistic look into the world of long term solo backpacking.

While my month-or-sos away would not be considered long term by non-U.S. citizens who go away for longer, I found that I could relate to most of the content in the movie—the initial loneliness, learning how to meet people, settling into the coming and going, traveler’s guilt and what it’s like when you have to go home. Throughout the film, I felt like I was reliving many of the emotions I’ve had abroad.

There were moments where I thought the movie was a little vapid. I think this stemmed from my wanting there to be more of an underlying story or a unique angle. Something more edgy and captivating than following yet another advantaged young person on the road. But all in all,  it’s a solid backpacking documentary full of inspirational tidbits. I’d recommend it for any past or potential backpackers.

As the film began, a traveler being interviewed by Silva-Braga supplied this quote about one of the most profound transformations traveling lightly and cheaply can instigate:

“When you have everything on your back, material goods don’t mean as much as they used to. That’s something you take with you for the rest of your life.”

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